My Cancer Blog

Monday, January 20, 2014

Gearing Up!


The past two weeks have been rather uneventful. Aside from two visits back to the surgeon to have a seroma drained, there has not been much happening around here.
But, with the peace and quiet came time to think...and with that came quite a few rough hours. I am not alone, even when it seems like I am. Jesus sits quietly nearby, allowing me this time to ask questions, voice fears, and sometimes just cry. But before too long I sense His nearness as He reminds me that it is only but a season...This year of grace is not only a fight for my life, but it is a time of deep gratitude and learning...Learning how to believe like a child again...Laugh, love and yes, sometimes cry like a child again...unhindered by my own sense of being capable...Because I am least not without His strength, and His grace.

Sasha hugging my teddy bear

Buddy wrapped up in my blanket

And so here I am once again standing before a door....reaching for the knob, knowing that I must go into this room...for a little while.
I am not alone...My Father knows what I have need of and He will supply it in due time...and in abundance.
Prayers are needed as I spend the next couple of days going through more tests, and having an outpatient surgical procedure done to place the port into my artery so that I can safely get the infusions.
 (This Wednesday)
Prescriptions are being filled for premeds, and also for a shot that will be given the day after each treatment to help boost my white cells. Most people say this shot can be the worst part of treatment...(Although it is not chemo) It can cause severe bone pain. I will be depending on more medication to help control that. I want to get the shot at the hospital where I receive my treatments, but we may have to go elsewhere for it (Insurance will decide). I do not want to go into any clinics because of the exposure to illnesses while my immune system is not strong...Please pray this will be worked out very soon as I will be starting chemo Friday morning.
We will need to travel 50 miles to the hospital for treatment. And then again the following day for this shot. (unless I get it nearby).
Another thing I have not been saying much about lately....
Just because my life literally depends upon my leaving my home now, the anxiety issue did not just suddenly go away...It is still very difficult. I am still dealing with the severe anxiety every time I have an appointment. Even though once I arrive at my destination I am perfectly fine, and even enjoy talking with the doctors, nurses, and receptionists that are on staff there! They are some of the warmest and friendliest people I have met. I guess you have to be to work in that field. .
I have been praying for years about the anxiety...and I am asking for you to pray with me now.
On a lighter note...
I am also going wig shopping again after my tests tomorrow. I have a free one waiting for me at a local salon, and a bunch of stuff to choose from (including yet another wig!) at the American Cancer Society in the city where I get treatment....I hope to find time to be able to go there before the hair comes out (Actually, I am shaving it before it does!) You have to take control wherever you can when it comes to this disease. They tell me that will happen before the second treatment...sometime between 14-21 days...the average is day 17 after the first treatment...So I will have to get ready.
I am all geared up and ready to go!

Here are a couple of good battle scriptures to get me started...

 The spirit of the sovereign Lord is upon me, because the Lord has chosen me. He has commissioned me to encourage the poor, to help the brokenhearted, to decree the release of captives, and the freeing of prisoners,  to announce the year when the Lord will show his favor, the day when our God will seek vengeance, to console all who mourn (Isaiah 61:1-2).

Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, he likewise shared in their humanity, so that through death he could destroy the one who holds the power of death (that is, the devil),  and set free those who were held in slavery all their lives by their fear of death. For surely his concern is not for angels, but he is concerned for Abraham’s descendants.  Therefore he had to be made like his brothers and sisters in every respect, so that he could become a merciful and faithful high priest in things relating to God, to make atonement for the sins of the people. For since he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are tempted (Hebrews 2:14-18).

We could learn a lot from this dog!
~Blessings & Love~
and remember, we are...


Sharon said...

OK, equipped for battle, I am standing beside you in prayer, dear sister warrior. May the Lord be with you in every moment. And may He grant you stillness from the anxiety. Sometimes that's the worst fight of all.

May your spirit be girded with HIS strength. And may His GRACE be all-sufficient.


samantha said...

I love you so much mom. I think an pray about you everyday. You will get through this,you are so strong. I'm praying for chemo to be smooth to your body and soul. I love you more than words can describe.. Please god just help my mother in strength and grace. Xoxo

Alexandra Rose said...

Lisa, I opened my Bible first thing this morning and the passage in Hebrews about Jesus being our great high priest leapt out at me...

" For ours is not a high priest unable to sympathise with our weakness, but one who, because of his likeness to us, has been tested in every way, as we are, only without sin.
Let us therefore boldly approach the throne of our gracious God where we receive mercy and in his grace find timely help." Hebrews 4, vs 14 ~ 16

Then I read your post and the quotes you had chosen!
Definitely the message for today, dear one ; )

This passage is part of a Church of England communion service
said just before we draw near the altar to receive the bread and wine.
I always find it an encouraging one.
Prayers for you, my friend.
PS Love the dog, gorgeous, gorgeous ...big dog on bed makes everything seem better!

Denise said...

I am praying for you sweet have come such a long way! Just like your daughter said (which by the way, brings tears to my eyes and warmth to my heart!!) you are strong! I hope you find some joy in fashioning those wigs; actually sounds fun! :)

Love you Lisa; God is with you every step of your journey....He's got this!!! :)

Blessings to you and your family,

Reformed rebel said...

Lisa ~ I am praying for you. You are gonna make it through this with much grace. the Lord is with you every step of the way and will continue to be. To me cancer i like fighting the adversary himself. Adversaries are powerful and deceptive but....our Lord is more powerful and He doesn't need to be deceptive. Our trust is in the Lord for every issue we have whether it be cancer or anxiety or anything else. When I read your blog I thought of how He is our Rock and our Strength all the time but especially in the time of trouble. As long as we trust in the Lord we will not be shaken. Our victory over everything...your victory over cancer and anxiety....come from Him and your faith in Him.

Psalm 62:6-7
He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from Gog alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.

Love you my friend. Chelle

Jane said...

I have confidence that your faith will help you through this, Lisa. On the bright side, since you have to wear a wig, you might as well go for something fun. What color hair would you like to try, but were always afraid to dye your hair?

Maria said...

Your attitude...your confidence in Our Lord is so inspiring to me Lisa. Keep holding on to HIM...He is near and will walk through that door with you.

You look very pretty with your wigs ;D.... Our Lord provides for everything...doesn't He?

In His Love,


child of God said...

Hey hon, walking through that door with you, praying you on all the way! As a very young adult, I had a big challenge in front of me and someone I looked up to looked me straight in the eye and said, "You are able to do this. Take that bull by the horns and ride!" I never forgot that and to this day as bigger challenges have faced me I still hear him say these words.

Bucking this bull with you sister. Anxiety or no anxiety you will make it through because Jesus is your co-pilot.

Philippians 3:13
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,

Praying and praying for you sister and walking beside you in spirit.


Lily said...

I will be thinking of you as you start the first round of treatment. xxx

Brenda said...

all the time I was reading your post there was scripture that was in my mind. It was Philippians ch. 4 vs 6 and 7
' Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.'
My request to God, along with yours and all others, is that you will be restored to full health and will have that peace that passes all understanding, in Jesus name Amen. xx

Susie Swanson said...

I'm sending up prayers daily for you my sweet friend and you are so right. God is beside us every step we make and whatever we have to face. Keep leaning on him. Blessings and love.

Peggy said...

Lisa, I am praying for you to conquer your anxiety issues. I'm wondering if you still have back pain with everything else going on. I'm praying you don't. You are a strong woman and your strength will bring others to want the God that you have, the One that gives you such strength.

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