My Cancer Blog

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Choosing Priorities

I remember this time last year. Deep in the white stuff, and sick of winter already, I was scanning the internet looking for images of the brightest flowers I could find. Well, here we are again…only this time it seems like we are so frozen that it will take a year to thaw out, and it’s not even February yet!
Sasha and Jeff on the trail last March 2013
One positive thing about this time of year at our house, is that the inside of the house is much brighter than in the rest of the seasons…I so want to get some more indoor plants…if only I could find the kind that I can’t kill….Should I at least try…sacrifice some tender young plants in the attempt to finally develop a green thumb?
Buddy on the trail summer 2013
I am wanting so badly to go outside, the dogs and I, but it is just too cold. The winter sun shines deceptively, but it is barely above zero as I write this.
I worry about the drain in energy that is to come as the next few months progress with treatment…The doc warns that it (the energy drain) will be cumulative with each one. If all goes well, I will be finished with the chemo in May…Just in time to get out there and soak up some fresh air…Though I will still be dealing with the after effects for months to come…(They say about a year from start of treatment).
I am told that I must prioritize what is most important to spend my energy on…I do not believe I have ever been told that before…It makes me think, really makes me think.
As wives and moms, we become skilled at multi- tasking; going through the lists of things to do each day, knowing that we may or may not be able to fill that list by the end of the day, so we do what needs done first…and then we do what we enjoy if we get the time…Well, so there-in lies my conundrum!
I am learning that this cancer journey is just as much, if not more of a mental challenge than it is a physical one lately…You see, although the body has so many needs, and so many new rules to follow…my mind just wants to focus on the important things in life…things that make me happy, and joyful, things that before now only seemed pleasant and good…now they are as important to me as breathing…Things like walking the dogs with my husband, feeding the birds, talking with a friend over coffee, going to a restaurant with my family…Watching my grandkids playing outside…All these things remind me of what life is all about!
So, I don’t want to spend my energy on vacuuming the floors, or putting everything away neatly as soon as things get a bit messy, etc.…I want to spend the little energy I have on living….cuddling with my husband and dogs, talking on the phone with my kids, and maybe taking a short walk in the sunshine.(As soon as it is warmer).
I will get some green plants and place them throughout the house…and not worry about their eventual, possible deaths…Yes, I will choose to focus on life more now!
Priorities can change and sometimes they just need to.
I guess the best way to describe the way I feel right now is in the words of a dear friend: “Whether we walk barefoot through the water, or hang our feet over the dock…or just sit and watch from the truck…It’s the presence of Jesus that makes it good.”
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Prov. 17:22
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2 –4
So, tell me…If you were asked to choose, what would you do today?


Maria said...

This is so perfect to read Lisa... I believe that you need someone to come in and keep you company as they clean around you :) when I was recuperating from a very painful surgery many years ago, my mother, God bless her, came from Florida to stay with me and keep me company. At the time, hubby took care of the children, but I needed someone with me while I dealt with the fear that came so often during the day...

If I was asked...I would knit and talk to my children more... I would knit and have tea with friends...I would knit and watch my daughter play. I would be quiet while they shared themselves with me.

Everything else is just busy work ;D m.

Dee said...

May is not far away....or your healing....soon the sun will shine everyday and you will feel a new energy as you walk with the dogs. :)

Crown of Beauty said...

Lisa, I just love this new post... there is something so eternally lifegiving when we choose to walk in the opposite spirit of what cancers intends for us. Because cancer, really, is a death arrow, and its aim is to steal, kill, and destroy... so it takes the resurrection Power of the Lord Jesus - which is available to us when we trust Him - to thwart this evil scheme and render it powerless in our lives! I am so encouraged by your post today, dear friend. I pray that your heart will be filled with overflowing joy, gladness, mirth, and laughter. The joy of the Lord is your strength.

Reformed rebel said...

Lisa you are such an encouragement to me. This is a great post. When we say what we truly feel in our writing it helps bring clarity to not only you but your readers as well. Doing what is important to us and focusing on those we love is what life is all about. We can always straighten and clean another day. Cuddling is something that is so needed all the time....but especially during difficult times. Cuddle all you want!! LOL

If I could choose what I wanted to do today it would be to see my family. Forget all the nonsense in my life and just be there.

Blessings my friend. Stay rested and remember...He's got you in His hand!

child of God said...

Your priorities sound pretty good to me. When the RA hit me hard and I went from 200 miles/hr to zero, I let all the unimportant things go and just focused on that which mattered to me. God, hubby and my kids then the animals. It was during this time that Father really re-shaped me.
Green plants! Yes, and lots of them. I too tend to kill them but the greenery in a winter home is cheery and beneficial to your health. As the deep freeze settles in it is always good to focus on indoor things and I always love the visual of...have you seen the 'Fox and the Hound?' It is a cool kids movie and there is this bug who comes indoors as the weather changes into winter time and he makes his cozy little home in one of the house plants and hunkers down for the winter. It is such a cozy picture that my mind always drifts to in the winter months, especially when they are long, cold and outside time is limited.

Praying and praying for you sweet sister of Chelle said, "He's got you in His hand!"

Brenda said...

Hi Lisa,
dwell on all the blessings of God, and He will see you through your hard trials. As you say, priorities matter. Whatever you are able to do that you love doing - do it. I love green plants around the house too. I used to have the rubber plant in one of our houses, it is easy to keep and all that most of them need is watering regularly, but not too much in the Winter.
God bless you, trust in the Lord with all your heart. He is able to bring you through this, and those scriptures are His encouragement.

Lily said...

Hi Lisa - your priorities are truly the ones we should all be following. Its so easy to let the stresses and chores of everyday life stop us from really living our lives.
I also tend to kill house plants but I do have more success with cacti. Maybe you could try these as they can also have beautiful colours. xxx

Peggy said...

Lisa, I'm glad you are prioritizing your life and putting the most important things first (family and friends and things that bring you joy. We all need to think about our priorities.

Denise said...

God loves you way beyond measure, you are His precious priority sister.

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