My Cancer Blog

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Cancer Update

Good News!



I had another clear scan on Monday!
There was a scar from the radiation on my right lung, but, according to the report..that is healing and getting smaller..
God is so good!

Thursday, November 8, 2018

In The Potter's Hands


Yet you, Lord, are our Father.
    We are the clay, you are the potter;
    we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

The Lord showed me something yesterday as I was talking with a friend.
He revealed to me how uncomfortable it can be when he decides to change us in order to be used according to his purposes..He showed me a picture (in my mind) of a pretty little teacup sitting upon a shelf, rarely used..too delicate to take down and handle every day and then need to be washed clean afterwards. Then he told me that I am that little teacup..or at least, I was.

 “Everyone who is called by My name, whom I have created for My glory; I have formed him, yes, I have made him Isaiah 43:7

He has been very busy with me, busy re-molding me into something different from what I used to be. Just like a little teacup which can only hold a very small amount of liquid, I was being filled as full as possible with the Holy Spirit and pouring out from the Word..but now the Lord has been changing me day by day, making me able to hold more of Him so that I can pour out more of his life-giving Word to more and more thirsty people.

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God? Psalm 42: 1-2

This transition in my walk with the Lord has come with a price..with much pain and more than a little bit of complaint and questioning of "Why, Lord? I was perfectly content with who I was, what you made me for..with being a wife and mom, a homemaker, a friend to the friends that I had at that time. Why can't I just stay as I am? "

Some things needed to be emptied out first.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

 And, just like Isaiah, we are called to be purged clean in order to be ready to serve God.

  “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord almighty.” The Bible continues to say in Isaiah 6 : 6,7 *Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar.  With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”*

*(As the new testament church, we are made clean through the blood of Jesus)*

The Lord allowed some things to happen in my life, some things that literally broke me to pieces..because, you see, that is what must happen first before He makes the new mold.

Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Psalm 51:8

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering. Psalm 51:16-17

 My health took a severe turn for the worst..I was forced to look death in the face and then make peace with the thought of dying.

Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: John 11:25

For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. 
Philippians 1:21

I lost some friends along that journey, but gained some new ones too.
 I suffered a lot, and realized my physical limits were harder to cope with than I ever imagined.
 I had to learn how to forgive..and forget too! I learned that this can only be done through giving grace the way The Lord gives more than we could ever deserve! By looking at myself realistically seeing the ugliest parts of my soul, and how only God can make me clean again! Then coming to the truth of who I am, who I think I am..certainly not someone who is better than anyone else, even those who have hurt me or let me down in this life!

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Certainly The Lord is not finished with me yet..I am still getting worked on..and, who knows what changes are being made. But I am learning to:

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6


Ok, so not every lesson is all about me, lol..Where are you in your walk with the Lord?

~Blessings & Love~
and remember, we are...
~NEVER FORSAKEN~

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Praise Him!

My yard on a foggy morning
Bless the LORD, O my soul. O LORD my God, thou art very great; thou art clothed with honor and majesty.   Psalm 104:1

During treatment for metastatic breast cancer, I learned to lean upon The LORD in such a way that I will never forget. I would recite four scriptures to get me through some of the toughest times. I called these scriptures my "trifecta plus one":

1. God inhabits the praises of His people.

“But thou art holy,  O thou that inhabits the praises of Israel.”
 Psalm 22:3

 2. In His presence is fulness of joy.

 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.  Psalm 16:11

 3. The joy of the LORD is my strength

.. "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our LORD. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."  Nehemiah 8:10

 4. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Phil. 4:13



~Blessings & Love~ 

and remember, we are...

~NEVER FORSAKEN~




Thursday, October 4, 2018

Buddy Needs Your Prayers

Just a quick post as we are on our way to take our boy, Buddy to the vet in a few minutes.
He has stopped eating for several days now ( reduced eating for a few weeks)and his weight has dropped drastically!
Please say a little prayer for him..he will be nine years old in November, so he is still not very old.
That's all for now..I will come back with an update soon.
Thank you and God bless~Lisa~
*UPDATE*
There is a problem with his liver. It's too soon to know whether it is curable (can be reversed) or something more serious like cancer. More test will be done next week. He lost twenty pounds and is slightly anemic and has jaundice. He was given a shot of antibiotic, vitamins, and cortisone for his skin disorder which has also flared up (unrelated to his liver problem).
*UPDATE* 10/6..
It's only been two days and he is doing so much better already! He is eating and acting more like himself again! Praise the Lord..Our prayers continue..Thank you.


Sunday, September 9, 2018

Singing

Let the trees of the forest sing, let them sing for joy before the LORD, for he comes to judge the earth. 1 Chronicles 16:33
                           


(Click on link to listen)
It'll open in a new window so you can continue reading while you listen to the song if you'd like.

A couple nights ago I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep..something that seems to be a challenge these days since chemo has somehow disrupted my melatonin production these last several months. 

(Despite trying pretty much everything I've ever heard to do)

Well, that night as I lay there praying, I started humming then softly singing this song..and yes, I slept very peacefully through the night afterwards!
 Now, let me ask you something..
Do you believe the words of God?
What if God tells you ...

[I AM]The Lord your God in your midst,
[ I AM] (the) mighty one who will save;
[I] will rejoice over you with gladness;
[I] will quiet you by [my] love;
[I] will exult over you with loud singing.
Zephaniah 3:17 *[emphasis, mine]*

How comforting to know that my Lord and King..the Creator of this Universe..sings over me! Well, I must say, this was the first time I had ever sang to Him before falling asleep at night, and I hope it blessed my Heavenly Father's heart.

I had another PET scan at the end of August and there is a spot on the upper right lung, but the doctors believe this is just scar tissue that was caused by the radiation..Otherwise it was still clear!

Going back to church has been wonderful! I've been staying busy with going to the women's Bible study once a week, and then  attending Sunday service also. 

I've been visiting friends and enjoying my dogs all summer.

Last week a bad wind storm and confirmed tornadoes caused a lot of damage in our area. Jeff took me for a drive yesterday to see some of the worst of it.. My jaw dropped!

I am trying to decide whether to fix my camera or maybe get a new iphone in order to take pictures again..I can't decide.

We had a lot of trees cut down in our front yard recently (before the storms)..so things look very different out there. We also built a new porch on the front but need to finish up planning what to do with the area where  a grouping of large maple trees which I had named 'The Four Brothers' used to be.


The Four Brothers
As a token to remember them, Jeff brought me the wedges one from each tree to keep. I will take a picture of what I did with them at another time to post.
But for now...

~Blessings & Love~
and remember, we are...
~Never Forsaken~








Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Choosing Life!


An iris from my yard


I thought it was time to dust off the old blog!
I gave 'Facebook' a good try there for awhile, but I'm afraid I just couldn't stick with it..my page account is still up, but I don't post much..and finding it too time-consuming to try to keep up with it all. 
So, where am I at in this game of life? ..you may wonder!
The cancer has been declared to be in remission..however, before we think I'm out of the woods by any means, all that means is that my last PET  scan was clear. That is good news, but that does not mean there is no more cancer cells in my body..just the contrary, unless I make some radical changes to the environment that helped cancer to grow and thrive inside of me in the first place, it is still there microscopically and my immune system is even weaker now after months of chemotherapy and radiation, so fighting it off may be harder.
 So I am working hard to build my immune system back up and also to stay clean of as many toxins from food and other things that I was putting into my body for my whole life.
Not only have I resumed the vegan diet, but I am also exercising each day..just simple things like running/fast walking around the yard with the dogs. Although I am trying to work up to a run, my legs are still too weak from treatment to actually be able to sustain it, so I end up walking briskly instead.
The newest thing I have done is to quit drinking coffee! Those who really know me might be picking themselves up from the ground right now, lol!
I'm enjoying my green tea instead..and I am going to pick up some fresh lemons to squeeze into some hot water very soon..as lemons are known to really fight cancer growth and stimulate the immune system too!
My expectations are quite realistic. I realize that I may still die from this cancer..but I honestly feel that since I pretty much created a cancer-friendly environment inside of my body from years of eating refined sugar and other unhealthy foods, allowing stress to take over in many situations; (fear over faith), harboring unforgiveness, etc..I know that I can now clean out all the bad stuff and create a healthier cancer-resistant environment. With God's help I know it is even possible to reverse this nasty disease..But it is all up to me to try. 

 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

Deuteronomy 30:15-20

I'm choosing life!

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Making lists

Busy beaver. Reedsburg Dam 2015


I've always been a list maker. It helps me organise my thoughts, and sometimes it's the only way I can feel calm. lately there's been more than usual on my mind.  Like all human beings, I have a lot of things to process through and to accomplish each day. As a person with a terminal illness I also have a ticking clock constantly sounding in my head now..Maybe we all  have that sense that we are limited (time-wise) here on planet earth..but trust me, my clock is ticking much louder than it used to.

I lost a friend and dear brother in Christ to cancer just last week. We both had our radiation treatments at the same time nearly every day in April this year..The last time we spoke he told me that they were sending him home to die, and that they said he had four months to a year left. he died less than two weeks later. As you can imagine..this really shook me. As a stage four cancer patient myself, this really shook me.
As of today, and as far as we know..The cancer that I've been battling is now in remission. Of course, we can only know that from one scan to another. My next scan is in August.
One of the best conversations I had with my friend Chris was in church a little more than a year ago when he found out his cancer had returned..I remember telling him that whether the Lord chose to heal him here or take him home..either way it was the Lord's will, and either way he will be healed. The last months of his life, the cancer had put him into a wheelchair with a head brace because the disease had spread from his spine into his brain.
But as my husband said: "Chris is standing tall now."

The loss of my friend also makes that inner time-clock tick even faster and louder now..and the lists of things I need to do become more urgent. This is stressing me out and it's not good to be too stressed when you have cancer cells in your body!
So I have decided to try and just write about it here on my blog.

Some things I am stressing about:
1. Church - (for reasons I cannot write about here) Jeff won't go with me anymore.
I have formed some really close friendships with many of the ladies there.. some even since my children were little! I don't have the time or energy to start all over again. It also is not easy or safe for me to go alone.
2. Lost friendships since cancer diagnosis. Some people cannot deal with it so they disappear.
3. Lost family relationships.
4. It's getting too hard with Jeff's RA and my illness/weakness to maintain this large wooded yard.
5. My camera has been broken for several months now..I don't know if I can get it fixed. I miss taking photos, but I'm blessed to have my cell phone to take photos with.
I already have so many photos saved on my computer that it has been taking me hours at a time to sort through them, and I am not finished doing that yet! Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
6. Will I have the time and energy to be able to spend time doing things with my loved ones?
I am such a homebody. I cannot change this just because I am terminally ill..In fact, my illness has weakened me to the point of exhaustion some days. 

*I turned off comments for this post because I'm not looking for answers to or ideas about how to deal with the items on this list..I'm just venting in order to get them out of my head if possible. Please try to understand.



Cancer Update

Good News! I had another clear scan on Monday! There was a scar from the radiation on my right lung, but, according to the report..t...