My Cancer Blog

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Choosing Life!

I thought it was time to dust off the old blog!
I gave 'Facebook' a good try there for awhile, but I'm afraid I just couldn't stick with page account is still up, but I don't post much..and finding it too time-consuming to try to keep up with it all. 
So, where am I at in this game of life? may wonder!
The cancer has been declared to be in remission..however, before we think I'm out of the woods by any means, all that means is that my last PET  scan was clear. That is good news, but that does not mean there is no more cancer cells in my body..just the contrary, unless I make some radical changes to the environment that helped cancer to grow and thrive inside of me in the first place, it is still there microscopically and my immune system is even weaker now after months of chemotherapy and radiation, so fighting it off may be harder.
 So I am working hard to build my immune system back up and also to stay clean of as many toxins from food and other things that I was putting into my body for my whole life.
Not only have I resumed the vegan diet, but I am also exercising each day..just simple things like running/fast walking around the yard with the dogs. Although I am trying to work up to a run, my legs are still too weak from treatment to actually be able to sustain it, so I end up walking briskly instead.
The newest thing I have done is to quit drinking coffee! Those who really know me might be picking themselves up from the ground right now, lol!
I'm enjoying my green tea instead..and I am going to pick up some fresh lemons to squeeze into some hot water very lemons are known to really fight cancer growth and stimulate the immune system too!
My expectations are quite realistic. I realize that I may still die from this cancer..but I honestly feel that since I pretty much created a cancer-friendly environment inside of my body from years of eating refined sugar and other unhealthy foods, allowing stress to take over in many situations ie:(fear over faith)  , harboring unforgiveness, etc..I know that I can now clean out all the bad stuff and create a healthier cancer-resistant environment. With God's help I know it is possible to reverse this nasty disease..But it is all up to me to try. 

 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

Deuteronomy 30:15-20

I'm choosing life!

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Making lists

Busy beaver. Reedsburg Dam 2015

I've always been a list maker. It helps me organise my thoughts, and sometimes it's the only way I can feel calm. lately there's been more than usual on my mind.  Like all human beings, I have a lot of things to process through and to accomplish each day. As a person with a terminal illness I also have a ticking clock constantly sounding in my head now..Maybe we all  have that sense that we are limited (time-wise) here on planet earth..but trust me, my clock is ticking much louder than it used to.

I lost a friend and dear brother in Christ to cancer just last week. We both had our radiation treatments at the same time nearly every day in April this year..The last time we spoke he told me that they were sending him home to die, and that they said he had four months to a year left. he died less than two weeks later. As you can imagine..this really shook me. As a stage four cancer patient myself, this really shook me.
As of today, and as far as we know..The cancer that I've been battling is now in remission. Of course, we can only know that from one scan to another. My next scan is in August.
One of the best conversations I had with my friend Chris was in church a little more than a year ago when he found out his cancer had returned..I remember telling him that whether the Lord chose to heal him here or take him home..either way it was the Lord's will, and either way he will be healed. The last months of his life, the cancer had put him into a wheelchair with a head brace because the disease had spread from his spine into his brain.
But as my husband said: "Chris is standing tall now."

The loss of my friend also makes that inner time-clock tick even faster and louder now..and the lists of things I need to do become more urgent. This is stressing me out and it's not good to be too stressed when you have cancer cells in your body!
So I have decided to try and just write about it here on my blog.

Some things I am stressing about:
1. Church - We do not feel at home there.(for reasons I cannot write about here) Jeff won't go with me anymore.
I have formed some really close friendships with many of the ladies there.. some even since my children were little! I don't have the time or energy to start all over again. It also is not easy or safe for me to go alone.
2. Lost friendships since cancer diagnosis. Some people cannot deal with it so they disappear.
3. Lost family relationships.
4. It's getting too hard with Jeff's RA and my illness/weakness to maintain this large wooded yard.
5. My camera has been broken for several months now..I don't know if I can get it fixed. I miss taking photos, but I'm blessed to have my cell phone to take photos with.
I already have so many photos saved on my computer that it has been taking me hours at a time to sort through them, and I am not finished doing that yet! Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
6. Will I have the time and energy to be able to spend time doing things with my loved ones?
I am such a homebody. I cannot change this just because I am terminally ill..In fact, my illness has weakened me to the point of exhaustion some days. 

*I turned off comments for this post because I'm not looking for answers to or ideas about how to deal with the items on this list..I'm just venting in order to get them out of my head if possible. Please try to understand.

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Feelin' kinda squirrelly!

A doodle I made a couple years ago
So, I've been staying offline lately.
The reason is because I've just simply felt so overwhelmed.
I recently started posting again on facebook, but not nearly as much as I thought I would..I get too distracted, and then before I know it the whole day is gone!
I have started so many different blogs in recent years, so many in fact, that I've forgotten about some of them.
It used to be that I only had this one blog, and I was busy happily posting here quite regularly..even had quite a few blogging friends with whom I enjoyed communicating with online. 
(Many have also left the blogging world in favor of FB, or for other reasons.)
So what happened?
Just like the funny little squirrels and chipmunks in my yard, I have hidden away too many nuts in too many places and as I am, by nature, a bit of a scatter-brain anyway, I am now needing to decide which medium I am going to post on..this blog, or another blog? Facebook? Soooo many choices!
Before I completely lose what's left of my mind, and end up cutting myself off from everyone online completely, I must make a decision..and therefore I've decided that this blog is the most enjoyable and (easiest for me) to use.
With the Lord's help and extra grace given to me, I hope to continue on with blogger from here on.
~Blessings & Love~

Daily Blessings

A gift from an 'old' friend given a few years ago..I just filled it with the most fragrant blossoms from the yard this morning! {Thinking of you, Deb } 

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

A 'BEARY' Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!

This was the card I made for Jeff..

And this is the card I woke up to this morning!..

I guess it's true, when you've been together for a long time..You are almost the same person!

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Thursday, November 23, 2017


To all who celebrate it today..

Blessings & Love..
and always remember,
we are...


Choosing Life!

I thought it was time to dust off the old blog! I gave 'Facebook' a good try there for awhile, but I'm afraid I jus...