My Cancer Blog

Friday, March 14, 2014

Living Psalm 91


Psalm 91

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.

Since my diagnosis I have wondered why I have been cornered in this battle for my physical survival just now...I wondered did Father want me on the sidelines and not "out there" on the battle field? Am I placed in a weakened body just now, so as not to worry about what's happening in the world around me?
This whole time, even the time leading up to now Father has been communicating to me the need to expand my horizons, to relinquish my self righteous pride and prejudices...and to watch and pray, and to listen and draw closer to Him.
I was busy in a life lived in a small world of my own making, and He drew me out into places I would not have ventured otherwise unless my own survival depended upon it...This is not a corner that I am in...It is as someone once commented on my blog...A good vantage point in which to launch an effective attack on the enemy. In the name of Jesus, and not just for me but for whoever Father sends to me.
Arrows are aimed...poison darts (lies) hurled...
Stand firm then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place. ( Eph. 6:14)
If it costs me my physical be it. (The enemy tries to use that as an arrow to wound me), but I will say to him: "To be absent from the body is to be present with my Lord!"
So I will listen in humility and emptiness, not pride and fullness...waiting for Abba Father to speak His rhema Word into my spirit to fill and encourage me.
Last night as I lay wide awake...I longed for God's Word to calm me, so I opened the Bible to the book of Nehemiah, and began to read.
As I read how Nehemiah and the Jewish people re-built the walls of Jerusalem in order to restore the Holy city that lay in ruin, its walls broken down and its gates burned with fire...I found myself weeping at these words from the prophet:
"They said to me, "Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The walls of Jerusalem are broken down and its gates burned with fire."
When I heard these things, I sat down and wept."
And I wondered why I wept too, so I read further.
Nehemiah inspected the ruins, and then rallied the people saying:
"You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruin and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace. I also told them about the gracious hand of my God upon me, and what the King had said to me."
And then I read how Nehemiah and the Jews were ridiculed by their oppressors, and found the following commentary in my bible about this:
Satan will do anything to keep your faith in Jesus from growing. He wants you weak and susceptible to attack. As you grow and mature in Christ, the protective wall of faith guarding your heart grows taller, thicker and more impervious to attack.
Nehemiah found great opposition to building a wall. let's learn from him.

And now here's my two cents worth on the matter:

The enemies strategy:
1. Satan will mock and harass you.
Nehemiah's response: He prayed that God would turn their insults back on their own heads. (Ne.4:4)
2.Satan loves to tell you how weak and defenseless you are.
Nehemiah's response: ...Our God will fight for us! (Ne. 4:20)
3. While we are in a weakened state from physical weariness ("strength giving out"), emotional frustration ("There is so much rubble"), mental discouragement ("We cannot rebuild") Satan attacks. ("We will kill them")
Nehemiah's response: He developed a great plan of action to protect their weak areas and pick up their weapons. (Ne. 4:13)
And he remembered that his God is "great and awesome"...
"Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes!"
And it hit me...why this story touched me so deeply...
When I declared that this year would be my year of grace...and the Lord gave me the word 'Grace' for my special word for 2014...As I read the words of the prophet, I was especially struck by the word 'Disgrace'. (Ne. 2:17) and I realized that the enemy had been trying really hard to hit me there lately. So I pondered the meaning of the word grace once again:
Grace [T] [E]
The word "grace" in biblical parlance can, like forgiveness, repentance, regeneration, and salvation, mean something as broad as describing the whole of God's activity toward man or as narrow as describing one segment of that activity. An accurate, common definition describes grace as the unmerited favor of God toward man. In the Old Testament, the term that most often is translated "grace, " is hen [ej]; in the New Testament, it is charis [cavri"].
And then today, I found this gem which really seemed to tie it all together for me:
Grace, which is accessed only by faith, is the power of God by which He does righteousness through anyone who will yield to Him.
  • Grace is the only means by which any person can ever do any good works. It is faith that gives access to grace, and faith only comes by an utterance of God, that is, God must be leading and the person receiving faith must be in submission.
  • Grace, in Greek, is the word, charis. In addition to charis, there is the word charismata, which is a word related to charis, but it is only used in reference to what have become known as the nine gifts of the Spirit, which are mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12. Source:

Lately, while I have been in that protected place described in psalm 91, I have been resisting staying there...complaining and becoming restless. I wanted to forget that I am even in this battle...I wanted to go back to where I was before...I wanted to forget about cancer. I was not submitting to the Lord and therefore, the walls were coming down as I stopped listening to the Words of my Father...The poison arrows were penetrating the places of exposed flesh. Jesus wanted to carry me, but I wanted down on my own two feet...and then came the pain. (It's no irony that it was in my feet and legs!)
While my spiritual feet weren't ready yet...My physical feet felt the pain!


 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

The "gospel of peace = God's holy Word...The testimony of Jesus us peace amidst the battle.


I have renewed grace and faith in His strength to carry me, and will trust in Him when He sets me down and tells me to stand firm with the "gracious hand of my God upon me."
And what the King has said to me:
 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you.”  2 Cor.. 12:8-9

~Blessings & Love,~
and remember, we are...



Denise said...

I love you my sweet sis. This was a great post. Sis, you are directly in the line of fire, under attack daily. God sees the way you are handling all of this, and smiles. You make Him so proud. You are awesome.

Lisa in Texas = ) said...

So very blessed by this post. I know exactly what you mean by wanting to NOT be in this battle- I can so relate. Thanks for sharing~ Lisa :O)

Brenda said...

Lovely post Lisa,
I know where you are at with 'my grace is sufficient for you', as this was used three times in one week to speak to me in a heavy trial. Jesus is the word of God, in Him we have peace when the Holy Spirit speaks that word to us in our trials. A poem I wrote in one of my trials comes to mind for you Lisa.
There is a peace within my soul
no riches could have bought it
I found in not in wealth or fame
in wretchedness I sought it
This peace that passes understanding
peace that I can call my own
can not be found in all the world
Ir's found in Jesus Christ alone.
God bless you with His perfect peace Lisa as you abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

Just Be Real said...

With your words and what you share you can minister to many. Lisa, hugs to you during this difficult time. Blessings.....

Alex said...

That is a lovely poem from Brenda! When we are brought low, we are close to God.
He knows exactly what we need.

Reformed rebel said...

You have given me much to think about Lisa. Reading your post makes me want to keep on fighting through my own battle. Tomorrow I will read Nehemiah and what my study Bible says. I really like what yours says about it. One thing we know for sure is that since we have Jesus we are never weak or defense less!! Praise the Lord!!
Praying for you Lisa.
Love you friend...Chelle

Sharon said...

This is one of the most powerful posts I have ever read. Much for me to ponder today. You know, Lisa, you have not been taken out of the game at all, you are not on the sidelines. God has placed you right in the arena with the devouring lion, and your fight speaks to us all. May the Lord strengthen us to face the battles He has allowed in our lives.

HIS grace is sufficient...


child of God said...

Hi hon,
Father really is teaching you so much! Praying that many will click onto your blog and read these words of healing you have so eloquently written out.

Continuing to pray and praying for you.

Deanna said...

oh hello there dear friend!
... can i first say with the sweetness of my heart... i don't want this to take you away physically. i am praying for you and i even prayed for you today, and i think of more often.

you understanding of the Scriptures and the way you transform it into a way that relates right where you are at "today" is a gift by the Holy Spirit, how adored you are by the Savior God, Father God.

God loves us so much, sometimes i become so overwhelmed that he really does love me.

lately i've found myself resistant to His Life in me. i am grieved about this for He is my Life, but i am praying for that igniting fire once again.

be strong in the Lord, Lisa, He is carrying more than any of us can see and even you.

I pray your heart is light and full of air that is of the simple kind, the pure kind that eagles in heaven i'm sure love to soar upon.

blessing, grace, peace, and His love, and mine to you!

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