NO MORE BIRTHDAYS (Edited version)

 

 

My only sister died on my birthday last Friday- June 9, 2023. 

I am still in deep grieving for my best friend who died two years ago on May 10, 2021. 

My family do not talk to me for many years now. Only my sister and I would talk for hours on the phone..but not so much this year. I knew she was fighting cancer, but she told me it was not serious and she was doing fine. They put her in the hospital last Monday and did surgery on a blood clot. She died four days later from a bleed that was result of surgeon's error.

My phone rang Friday morning- two calls were missed because I was asleep, then in the shower, and I almost did not answer the third one because there was no caller ID. I was not notified that she had been admitted nor was I told that she was doing very poorly. I was only told about her death. I am seldom on Facebook. I dislike it for reasons I will not get into on here right now.

The three calls were no caller ID because, although I have had the same number for thirty years, people in my family do not call me to give me their numbers..I do not blame my oldest brother Gary, as he is very sick and his wife does everything for him.

It might be a good idea to remind whoever may read this that I have a mild/moderate form of Agoraphobia and seldom leave my house. Cancer and COVID only made this disorder worse the last few years.

Life looks pretty bleak. My loved ones are home with the Lord now, and I am not sad for them. But I am being honest when I say I am sad for me. I will never celebrate my birthday again. I did not really celebrate it very much to begin with anyway.

I will survive until I can't any longer. That is all I can do...survive one day at a time.

Keeping to myself more than ever now. I have no real life friends. I do have a few close family members still. That is a blessing that some people do not have. I will be content with this. I'll stop focusing on the losses and appreciate what and who I still have left. I will try to be a better person for them. 

Jesus is still my constant friend.

There's nothing that can take me from Him.  

I remain, In Him...

~NEVER-FORSAKEN~