WHAT IS HIDDEN

 

1 Corinthians 4:3-5

I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself.

My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.

Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God. 

 

~Blessing & Love~

And remember, we are...

 

~NEVER FORSAKEN~

MENTAL HEALTH MONTH

I have always loved birds. The threat of Avian Flu is forcing us to take down the feeders. This feels like just one more thing the enemy is using to steal my joy.

 

Yesterday our favorite pet Hen, Lucee died. (Not Avian flu) She had a dis-functional shell gland which ended up causing her to not be able to form shells around her eggs. She tried to lay an egg yesterday (something that she seldom did) and without a proper shell it simply broke inside of her body causing her death. We had nursed her back to health during the early winter months because of this already, and knew it was only a matter of time.

RIP Lucee.. We will remember you for your sweet loving personality.

 I've struggled with severe depression and anxiety pretty much my entire adult life.

These last few years (This last decade) has pretty much been the wringer for me. I am not going into any of the details here in this post though, since I have pretty much already documented most of this on this and my other blogs.

What I am writing about today is how I have come to the end of one of the many ropes I often climb. I am forced to evaluate (re-evaluate) what I decide to spend my time on and what is good for my soul versus what is toxic to my soul as my mental health really does depend on this.

I heard just yesterday that May is "Mental Health Month". This seems like the perfect time to do this re-evaluation for me. 

My confession:

I tend to get drawn down into the "Rabbit Hole" in regards to watching world events and listening to many, many voices out there ..about EVERYTHING from the rise of the antichrist beast system, deception in the governments of the world, and in the world religions, even deception regarding the Holy Bible and its validity (Did they take out important books from the Bible? Did they add and remove scriptures or changed scriptures in the various translations, etc..) Then there's the threat of World War 3 looming, not to mention the rise of AI dominance (According to Elon Musk)- Even the subject of Aliens and UFO's has gripped my attention lately! I already mentioned the threat of Avian Flu which means we cannot feed the birds and enjoy them at our feeders this year. Now, there is a threat of a deadly Equine Flu! I love horses too! 

 

There's so much more than I can list on here right now. No wonder my poor mind is ready to explode!

I have been busy creating my own videos for the last several months as well. I really enjoyed doing this, but it did come with a cost, not only financially, but mentally and even physically as well. I would create a video and then have many sleepless nights as I obsessed over it and would spend countless hours on many other channels connecting with folks who also made similar videos..this wore me out and left very little time for my loved ones and for study of scripture, never mind taking care of my daily responsibilities..This hobby permeated my entire life, my thought life and my physical life both. I had to take a huge step back from this! I cancelled my subscriptions that I was paying to use the music and different editing tools..I even disconnected myself from the daily live streams from friends and acquaintances. I am sorry if that felt like an insult to them, but it was very necessary.

I have kept only the few hours a night spent with my daughter playing the online game from which I used the clips to make my videos. Now, instead of stopping all the time to clip a scene from my game-play, I am just actually enjoying the time spent playing it with Sam. This alone is proving to be very liberating! Even the hours I have spent playing the game has been reduced in order to insure I get better rest when I am tired.And I am spending more time with Jeff in the evening after he comes home from work.

So, I am (still) in the process of reducing my YouTube subscriptions and the time I spend watching videos, and I am being more mindful to be careful of what I watch. 

 And I have deactivated my Facebook account. This feels so incredibly good! I just simply could never keep up with everyone on there, and seldom shared a post myself. I never liked ignoring a friend request, even though I did not know, or know well most of the people sending them! I found myself feeling so guilty that I did not wish somebody a Happy Birthday, or otherwise respond to so many things..I ended up ignoring everyone in order so that nobody was hurt that I responded to one, and not the other. I need to have less burden of guilt on my shoulders, not more..so why create situations that I know will result in feelings of guilt and/or inadequacy?

There is just so much our human brains can take in before we end up burnt out and in shut-down mode. I mean, I have to limit how much I can download into my computer in order to ensure it stays working properly..and our minds are just like a computer as far as capacity goes.. what you put in will come out, and some of that stuff may even harm the computer. Same with our brains.

God's Word warns us about this too..

And HERE is an excellent, relative scripture we must always remember...

 

 

 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

I am thinking that, with the Lords help, May will be a good start to a healthier mind and a more joyful spirit! 

Thank you for reading this,

~Blessings & Love~

and remember, we are... 

~NEVER FORSAKEN~

DEVASTAING NEWS! (Not really)

 According to some believers on some You Tube and other social media websites, any of our brothers and sisters in Christ who received the shot for the virus, are now no longer Christians..we have lost our salvation through deceit! The enemy out-witted us.

Well, thank the LORD in Heaven above that my brothers and sisters in Christ do not possess the authority to condemn my immortal soul to hell for this or any other reason!

Here is my response- Let's go to the Word of God and ask Him!

 

 Romans 8:31-39 Nothing can separate us from the love of God..(Not even a virus or a shot)

 

Ephesians 4:30 We are sealed by God (My name is written in the Lamb's book of life)

                             

Isaiah 54:17 No weapon formed against me shall prosper. (Not even a shot of poison)

 

1 John 4:4 Greater is HE who is in us than he who is in the world. (God has authority over my body)

~This is my comment on sites where I see Christians saying that people are condemned (those who received the jab)~ 

 

I did not willfully receive the mark of the beast, I do not follow the antichrist (he is not even revealed to us yet)..I have not denied my Lord and Savior..Please stop your subscribers from saying these things that hurt their brothers and sisters in Christ. This is the worst thing we could do to one another. We need to carry each others burdens, lift one another up (edify) and remind each other of the HOPE that is in Christ alone.  

I do know the warning in Holy Scripture of willfully taking the mark in the right hand or on the forehead in order to buy or sell..this mark will also be a mark of one who worships the image of the beast. 

HERE is what the WORD OF GOD says concerning the mark of the beast:

Revelation 13:12 And he exerciseth all the power of the first beast before him, and causeth the earth and them which dwell therein to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed. 13And he doeth great wonders, so that he maketh fire come down from heaven on the earth in the sight of men, 14And deceiveth them that dwell on the earth by the means of those miracles which he had power to do in the sight of the beast; saying to them that dwell on the earth, that they should make an image to the beast, which had the wound by a sword, and did live. 15And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed. 16And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: 17And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

Thank the LORD my God for His Holy WORD!
Thank you Jesus (THE WORD) for loving me and for saving me! 

 

Romans 8:35..“Nor height, nor depth, nor ANY OTHER CREATURE, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

 Thank you for reading my little rant here!

BLESSINGS & LOVE

and remember, we are...

~NEVER FORSAKEN~

FELLOWSHIP

 

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

2 Corinthians 6:17

 

Me and Jeff about a year ago.

 

 

Two days ago Jeff and I celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary. And by "celebrate" I mean, the day passed by with the two of us spending the day together, eating a good breakfast and watching TV. It was far too cold and rainy to go anywhere, as I had been dealing with a cold or something for a couple days. Being in each other's presence is a comfort and a blessing to us. Funny story: A couple months ago I moved my computer and everything into the spare bedroom where I could shut the door and go online with friends, or create videos on my You Tube channel without disturbing my husband while he watched TV in the living room. I made a very comfy cozy little nest in there and had complete privacy and quiet. It lasted less than a month because I missed just being in his presence, even though we were almost always doing our own thing there in the same room.

I guess you could say that this is a sign of true love!

Thank you for reading, I hope this post made you smile today.

~Blessings & Love~

and always remember, we are...

~NEVER FORSAKEN~

A Dead End Road (A post from 2016)

More often than not, we tend to avoid driving down a road marked 'Dead End'...

But sometimes you might discover that it leads to a wonderful surprise!

And a nice place to have lunch! We no longer have this vehicle. We sold it last year after almost getting hit by a car backing out of their driveway without looking, getting chased by a dog, having a tree branch whack me in the face, and picking a tick off of Jeff's neck. We figured we could still ride some pretty country roads and enjoy nature in a safer manner!

 

 

CLEAR VISION (A post written at the end of 2019)

 

 

2019 is drawing to a close. It was a year full of both loss and gain. We lost our beloved boy Bud in February, Jeff lost a good friend and coworker to cancer suddenly that same month. I lost an old friend to cancer in July, our Son in law lost his dear mom, also to cancer..and our daughter and son in law also just lost a dear friend suddenly to a heart attack right on Christmas day.

We had a daughter diagnosed with a serious incurable disease this year too.

But..we were blessed with the birth of two grand daughters both born in the summer! And my PET scan continues to show No Evidence of Disease! My daughter's condition is also currently in remission!..So we are rejoicing in the good things and remembering, through our tears, all the people we have lost as well as the challenges we've had to face.

Its been awhile since I asked God to give me a goal for the New Year. I used to get a certain word that I would take into the new year as a way of remembering a goal..like a promise for the next twelve months to hang onto.

Well this year I asked..and this is what I got...

@)@) When you type '2020' in CAPS..it looks like two eyes..The word I see in my mind when I think of 2020..is

CLEAR VISION. No, I am not getting Lasik surgery on my eyes..I asked instead for a clear spiritual vision for the months ahead. I want to see the way God sees, I want to see who Jesus is in a clearer way.

This means that sometimes in order to see the truth, I may have to close my physical eyes and ask God to show me a deeper (hidden) meaning behind some things. Also, I may need to keep those eyes wide open when I would rather close things out..instead of ignoring the stuff going on around me, I may be asked to face some truth that God wants me to see..maybe even something about myself that I need to change.

 Matthew 13:10-17 The disciples came to Him and asked, 'Why do You speak to the people in parables?' He replied, 'The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. ... This is why I speak to them in parables: 'Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.' But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.' 

 

~Blessings & Love~

and remember, we are...

~NEVER FORSAKEN~ 


I don't know why I did not publish this post back when I wrote it. It's been over two years ago now. Maybe I just needed to wait until today to re-read this and evaluate what all has happened from 2020 and beyond. After all, so much has happened! The biggest event of recent history was the worldwide Covid-19 pandemic. In fact, at the time I was writing this originally, the virus was already happening, but we were unaware of it. Little did I know that something very sinister was just around the corner, and it would change the entire world! 

As for my own life, there has been some ups and some downs.

As far as my spiritual vision...There was a reason this post was hidden away until now. I have been walking around with my eyes tightly closed for several months now. I think it's time for me to open them up and once again, ask God to help me to see the way He sees.

This won't be easy.

 But it is so very necessary.

Nobody knows what is around that next corner, but as a Christian we have hope because our Lord knows and he is always with us, come what may!

Thank you for reading this. I hope it helps you in some way.

 

Blessings & Love

and remember, we are...

~NEVER FORSAKEN~

 

 

 

 

LIKE A TREE PLANTED BY THE WATER

 

                   

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or set foot on the path of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the Law of the LORD, and on His law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water..

 Wetlands are protected by government because they play a unique role in the survival of many plant and animal species. Their environment sustains many important species that can only survive in that unique place.

 When I worked in land division and zoning for my area, I had to learn a lot about wetlands..I had to learn which types of trees grew in wetland swamps, for instance. 

Sometimes a wetland can actually appear dry and arid..but there are certain features that can be observed by the trained eye in order to determine whether or not a certain place could be considered a wetland swamp during a very dry season.

One of the things I learned was there are trees who "Like to have their feet wet." Trees like the white cedar which grows on our property.

Regardless of the current condition of the environment, the land is classified a certain way, and that does not change just because it looks different at the time. A wetland is still a wetland.

How does this example compare with the idea of what we are as Christians, our classification?

Maybe you are experiencing a dry spell in your walk with the Lord?

 

You yearn to "get your feet wet" once again!

You feel so thirsty for the Word of God that sustains and refreshes you daily, but you just can't seem to soak it in right now. 

You are affected by an unhealthy environment. You are rooted where you are and cannot do anything to change it..or can you? 

Where you are planted

You may not be able to change this. It may be you are rooted in a dry place right now. At one time it held the nourishing, life-giving water and you grew very strong in your faith, but now the water has evaporated into the earth and is long-gone...or is it?

Remember the classification of a wet-land is not dependent upon the current status of the environment, but on it's intended status or intended form and nature.

 If anyone is thirsty, let Him come to Me and drink He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, “From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water” (John 7:37–38)

"From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water" 

You are thirsty ..The fountain of living water is JESUS! Who through the Holy Spirit resides in your INNERMOST BEING. He is the well that never runs dry.

 One of  the main restrictions about the wetland is not allowing someone to bring in a lot of material such as sand, or even some invasive plants and animals who will negatively affect the environment. If this is done it may result in the land being changed and made unhealthy, useless even.

     

Mark 4:19
but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth, and the desire for other things come in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.

The cares and worries, desire for wealth, and even being distracted by "other things" is like allowing someone to come into your life and dump a lot of material into your river..stopping the flow and choking out the nourishment for your roots."Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or set foot on the path of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers.."

We must use discernment about who we listen to, who we follow after, and how we behave ourselves when we hear the Word of God..Do not sit among those who mock God!

 

 

 "But his delight is in the Law of the LORD, and on His law he meditates day and night."

Instead, our attitude towards God's Holy Word should be one of delight! And it should be on our mind day and night! Then and ONLY then, will we be spiritually healthy once again, a tree planted by the water!

 Thank you for reading this. I pray it helped you in some way.

Blessings & Love

& remember, we are...

~NEVER FORSAKEN~ 

*All images posted on here are my own photos. I thank The Lord for allowing me to take and to use them for his glory, and not my own.

THE WINDS OF DOCTRINE

..that we henceforth be no longer children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and their cunning and craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;..

                                                                     Ephesians 4:14

 

 "I'm a Christian!"

"I believe in God too!"

"I believe in Jesus!"

"I'm also a believer!"

...All good to hear, but we mustn't stop at these statements, believing that our mission to tell people the good news of the gospel of Jesus the Christ is complete. 

 

Lets continue the dialogue...

"That's so awesome you are a Christian..How did you come to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?"

The answer to this will vary in how exactly the circumstances surrounding a person's conversion played out..BUT..The TRUTH will always be present, and it will always boil down into the same thing.

"I was.......And I HEARD (or read) THE WORD of God (Bible~Holy scriptures). I realized, knew, felt, BELIEVED IN MY HEART that Jesus is real, what He did for me actually happened because I AM A SINNER and He, BEING THE ONLY SON OF GOD, WAS PERFECT (SINLESS). He took my place on that cross..took MY PUNISHMENT..SUFFERED THE DEATH THAT I DESERVE!

Now, I know that when I die (physical death)  My spirit will leave my earthly body and be present with Jesus. Someday my body will be transformed and I will be resurrected to a life lived with my Savior in Heaven (Wherever He is) for all of eternity. BECAUSE HE WAS RESURRECTED Himself and HE PROMISED HE WOULD DO THE SAME THING FOR ME!" 

 

 “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: that if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.  For with your heart you believe and are justified, and with your mouth you confess and are saved.…Romans 10:9-10

 

And lets not forget where Jesus came from, and why he was not only a mere human being.

 

Isaiah's Oracle

Over seven hundred years before Jesus was born, the prophet Isaiah wrote.

Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign: Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. (meaning 'God with us')

Isaiah 7:14

Jesus is fully human, yet fully God (Divine) There's so much to say about this . Here is a good source for an explanation for this statement of belief:

Jesus fully God, fully man

"Who is Jesus to you?"

 

Jesus the Christ may be many things to many people..You have your own examples, I am sure..as do I; but there are some important scriptural descriptions of exactly who Jesus is, most of which was written even before he walked the earth in human form.

But, for the sake of this essay..Let's start with who Jesus says he is:

The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.”   Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.”(John 24:25-26)

 He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” 16 Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” 17 And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. ( Matthew 16:15)

 

When I was a new Christian I read this famous statement about who Jesus is: 

 

 In his famous book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis makes this statement,

 “A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic–on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg–or he would be the devil of hell. You must take your choice. Either this was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us.”

And finally, lets take another look at what Jesus says about himself that answers another age-old question ..

"Are there other ways to get to the Father in heaven?"

 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6

* IMPORTANT MESSAGE* 

I did not write this post in order to judge other people..No, This is only to serve as a reminder that we must not just accept what someone says regarding their faith in Christ and then just leave them there where they are, because they might need more! They might not know that they need to know more than what they know. 

For a more thorough teaching on this from my blog you can read here:

NO OTHER WAY

Thank you for taking the time to read through this rather lengthy post. I hope it's in some way helpful to your own journey in your walk with the Lord.

Blessings & Love,

and remember, we are...

~NEVER FORSAKEN~

Praying for Clear Vision

 In the year 2020, the first word that came to my mind was Vision . Indeed there are many scriptures that speak of vision. I want to touch on the idea of having Clear Vision ..as in seeing things as they really are, as God may see them. This is still my prayer for this time as we approach 2022..maybe even more-so in light of the events that have taken place since 2020. 

But it is not enough that we see clearly..we must be willing to expose those things that lurk in the darkness with the light of God's Word so that others may also see clearly the things that are set out for us to otherwise stumble over in the darkness.

Recently things have come to my attention. Darkness is truly descending upon this world. The scariest thing about it though is that people are not seeing it!
At least they are not seeing it for what it really is..in fact more often than not this is what happens:

 My prayer is that The LORD will keep me alive long enough to warn my family and loved ones..some of whom are stumbling around in the darkness themselves these days..calling evil good..not seeing with their spiritual eyes of discernment what is lurking in the shadows. I myself am stumbling about at times!

 Hebrews 4:12 - For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discern-er of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

I realize the risk in doing what I'm doing may be that I will be called names, or considered to be over reacting ..such is the delusion that overtakes those who are blind to the truth..the tendency to react with anger toward the messenger who brings the message that may be hard to hear. (I am guilty of doing this myself from time to time whenever I hear a hard truth.)

 1 Kings 3:9 - Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?

 Because of this, I am determined not to report on my own feelings about these issues more than on what God says in his Word about them.

 “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God” (1 Corinthians 4:3-5).

Believe me when I say, my first temptation is to hide away from all of this and pretend it is not happening just like most people who do see clearly are doing. After all, they might say: "It's everywhere-so what can ya do?" (A rhetorical question) We could even throw our helpless hands up in the air while saying this can't we?

My answer  is NO! No, I cannot just close my eyes knowing that the enemy is lurking upon the path my family and my friends are walking without shining the light for them to see! And even my own path has some shadows lurking along the way, as I am not immune to deception either!

I believe that God did not allow me to die back when my life hung in the balance for a reason..for such a time as this.
All my life as a Christian I have been able to discern things..spiritual things.

 1 John 4:1 - Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

 Every believer is equipped with the ability or the gift of discernment to some degree.

 Mat 16:3  "...'It will be foul weather today: for the sky is red and lowering.' O ye hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky; but can ye not discern the signs of the times?"

 
Today Thursday, December 9, 2021

This is a wake up call for me

This video is a clear fulfillment of the scriptural prophecy regarding the state of the (new) world vision of a watered down, all-accepting false form of Christianity.

 1 Timothy 4:1

 Now the Spirit expressly states that in later times some will abandon the faith to follow deceitful spirits and the teachings of demons, 2 influenced by the hypocrisy of liars, whose consciences are seared with a hot iron.…

 One which will diabolically indoctrinate anyone who is not careful to study the Holy Scriptures for themselves and gain discernment from the Holy Spirit about such important matters, especially the divine commission of Jesus, the Christ and who exactly he is. He is the Messiah. 

 2 Peter 2:1

 Now there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them— bringing swift destruction on themselves. 2Many will follow in their depravity, and because of them the way of truth will be defamed.…

 

The following expose` on this pastor struck me hard since I once followed some of his teaching..mostly because he was funny (humorous) and has a way of being sort of authoritative in his communication technique. But it's better to follow Jesus, not man. This is why.

 

Please watch:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-CLbg2d2OY&t=49s

Hope For The Future / Life Update (Long post!)

  

 

It's August 2021! It's been more than a year since I've posted..I have made attempts to post, written here and there, but just never felt compelled to hit that publish button.

What a wild year it has been too..Well, for our family it's been a wild couple of years. 

I'll begin with the most relevant event(s)..June 2, 2019..I attended my granddaughter (Enna's) birth! I was one of the first to see her little face (She was born facing up..what the nurses call "sunny-side-up") and after that very long night in which we actually slept in the car in the hospital parking lot for a couple of hours, we returned home and got a text "Mom and dad, I'm OK but in the hospital getting my appendix removed" This, from our oldest daughter..I had my bags packed already intending to stay a few days with our youngest who had just given birth, so I had a choice to make.. It was only appendix removal, a simple operation, but our oldest daughter had a surgery some time before this and had trouble waking up from the anesthetic..so..I was going to go be with her about two hundred miles away..THEN the phone rings" "I'm in the hospital..It's pretty bad, can you come..I'm scared!" Now this was our middle daughter who was seven months pregnant and seriously ill with a new diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis, and her blood (hemoglobin) was dangerously low so they were admitting her! My bags were packed..I needed to assess which child needed me the most (I was basically doing triage in my head) I drove myself more than four hundred miles away, a five hour trip..I stayed with our middle daughter three nights in the hospital, and a couple weeks after. 

So if you had to go back and re-read that last paragraph, that's OK..It's hard to believe that ALL THREE of our children ended up in the hospital at the same time!

This was only months after I had completed several rounds of heavy duty chemo followed by 33 rounds of radiation. And it was during the end of that treatment when I went to take care of our oldest daughter after she had her digestive system re sectioned. 

Two months after our middle daughter's hospital stay, it was time to go back to be with her after the birth of our youngest granddaughter Olivia..Whom I also got to meet as soon as she was born on August 22nd! 

I like to tell this whole story because of the need for people to have and keep hope..Both these granddaughters were surprise babies..both were miracles..One was thought to have been a miscarriage..but she struggled to survive in the womb..and is perfectly healthy since birth!..The other baby's parents were told that they could never conceive, but God had other plans!  

The third miracle here, is me. 

Just one and a half years prior, these three daughters and my husband were discussing the possibility of needing to care for me, as we were planning for the very real possibility of my becoming too ill to care for myself while my husband worked. But in fact, I was able to go take care of them when they needed me instead.

 Although I am heartbroken that one of my daughters has a very serious incurable disease, I know she is a fighter like me..and so is her little daughter! They will be strong no matter what comes their way in life.

I was allowed to be here to see my youngest daughter's dream of becoming a mother came true! And she is an excellent mother too. And I am more than impressed with my other daughter and how good she is with Olivia, even when she doesn't always feel good herself.

Although I have been through a lot myself..I feel so blessed to be given the strength to be there for all my children despite the belief that I would not live very long. I have been able to care for myself while my husband works full time (even lots of overtime)..And the cancer remains in remission. They still say there is no cure, but you can call it whatever you want..I am still here, still working hard around the home, and still hopeful about tomorrow!

 

What comes next for me? Well, I am seeing a neurologist for tests on all four limbs. It appears I have no reflexes..none! They believe its a serious neuropathy. I get discouraged some days when I can do very little because of the pain, weakness, loss of sleep..etc..but, I remain hopeful! God is still bigger than this. My hands are strong despite their lack of sensation, so that is good. In fact, during my exam I cracked the doctor's knuckles when he asked me to squeeze, haha!

I give the credit for this to  playing online games almost nightly with my daughter.  My hands and fingers stay nimble from using the controller..and my mind stays off the pain. But the biggest thing is the enjoyment we both share together!

  But it's not been all fun and games lately. My dear old oncologist passed away at the end of April. I had not seen him in over a year since his office closed down and I had to see a new doctor. And then my very best friend of over 25 years passed away on May 10th. I was devastated. Yes, she is with our Lord..She's HOME! But..I lost the one person (usually the first person) that I could just pick up the phone and talk my heart out to.I  miss her every day. I'm happy for her..sad for me. I fell into a deep depression afterward, and I am only now coming out from that darkness. Other serious things happened within our little family unit..private things that plunged me even deeper. I am still grieving the death of our dear Buddy boy..our beloved hound dog who made our lives better throughout a long period of sickness..he was my comfort. Yes, we have our little Oliver..He is the sweetest little dog ever! I am so thankful I rescued him only eight months before Bud passed..such a comfort for me especially. He and I are inseparable!

 And during the early months of the pandemic, I bought four chicks from the feed store. They are now fully fledged hens with big personalities! They were meant for eggs..but we get so much more out of them as, besides providing us the delicious eggs, they make us laugh..they also keep me busy!

Spring 2020:

This was their first real coop:

It worked out pretty well for awhile, but it was really not enough room for them as they grew bigger. The run was not secure enough to leave them for very long since we live in the woods with bears and other predators. So finally after fifteen months we bought a new coop!

In fact, just this weekend we finished building their new run and setting up the new coop!  

Well, That's about it!

Thank you for reading my extra long post.

Blessings & Love-and always remember, we are...

NEVER FORSAKEN!