My Testimony

In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." John 3:1-3

“if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9


Why do I believe?

I am not a Christian just because I repeated the sinners prayer. If that were true, then it would have been a work of my own, not anything that Jesus did that saved me. In fact, I wasn’t saved when I repeated the pastor’s words on that day, because I did not yet believe in my heart, nor understand how much of a sinner I was and my need for Jesus to wash away my sins. The reason I went to the pastor was because I had read the descriptions of hell and God’s wrath against those who were not saved in the book of Revelation and it scared me. I learned from reading this that if you were a Christian you would not suffer in the torment of hell for eternity. So I called the pastor and told him I wanted to be saved.

(this type of reasoning is written about in a book entitled: Pascal’s Wager by a french author, Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

After repeating the words of the sinner’s prayer, I started to attend church and read the bible verses that the church group I became a part of suggested for me. I spent some time at this pastor’s home and felt like I was a part of this group of peers. My husband did not join me in this, so I sometimes felt torn between two worlds and it was very difficult at the time. I did give up some things from my old life and, in essence, became someone new. But I still was not saved because I did not believe in my heart that I needed to be washed clean from my sins because I didn’t think my little sins were bad enough, after all, I hadn’t killed anyone or robbed a bank! 
 I continued to go through the motions for a couple of years or so. Then I stopped going to church. I was no longer worried about going to hell when I died, because I had repeated the words of the sinner’s prayer and read the Bible with some very well learned Christians and became a part of their group; so I was just sand bagging my way through life. I never was much of a drinker or a cusser, and I was never involved in drugs or ilicit affairs, so it was easy to convince myself that I was truly a good Christian so I didn’t need to do much or to change anything. I never talked to God in those days either aside from following along with the prayers of others in church and then parroting the words when asked to take my turn at praying. So I thought I was good to go. …And then…

After a while of simmering on the fire, something arose to the surface of my soul.  I was reading a passage of scripture in the Bible, when I became very, very angry at God! I remember saying aloud: “This is just a book written by men to control women!” and I threw the Bible against a wall causing the pages to scatter all over. ( I was really mad)..
The Bible I threw had belonged to my husband”s mother who had recently passed away, so I felt horrible at what I had done, so I tearfully gathered up the pages and tied the whole thing together with a red satin ribbon and carefully placed it in a drawer. My husband was working the night shift at the time so I was alone. And then I went to bed.

As I lay in bed I began to pray for real for the first time in my life, from my heart I reached out to the Father with this simple statement: “God, IF you are real, and I don’t think you are, you probably hate me now anyway.” It wasn’t long afterwards when I felt my heart rate begin to increase, but instead of feeling anxious, I was completely relaxed; so much so, that I realized I could not move my body at all, but instead of panic, I felt safe, warm and secure. It felt as if a soothing liquid was being poured into me beginning at the top of my head and radiating all the way to my toes! ( I can remember this like it was yesterday)

What happened next would change my life forever and is the greatest moment of my life: “I LOVE YOU”  three words, spoken into my left ear it was a voice that defies adequate description, but I must try to describe it anyway: Imagine the four winds converging with the sounds of rushing water from a deep deep ocean depth creating the words that are heard, not into the ear only, but heard inside the very core of your being, in the pit of your soul! It is not hard for me to imagine the Creator saying “LET THERE BE LIGHT’ And upon the mere utterance of the words, light springs into being! I feel a quickening in my spirit as I remember this now, my hands are shaking as I type the words here. I am blessed with a wonderful family, good health, and many other things; but nothing, absolutely nothing can come anywhere close to what I experienced with the LIVING GOD! I can completely understand Paul’s words when he so beautifully described his yearning to be present with the Lord, and absent from the body. In the presence of God is FULLNESS of joy!

I do not  pray for someone to have an experience like mine, because I know that if they require that to truly believe, then they are not as blessed as those who just believe having not seen as Jesus points out to Thomas in the Bible (John 20:26-29)., and we are told that it is a wicked generation that seeketh out signs and wonders (Mathew 16:4) . So dear reader  do not  provoke God in order to solicit an experience like mine, for God is not a genie in a bottle that you can conjure up! He reveals hImself to every true believer through the assurance of a true childlike faith inside the heart! A knowing that He is who He claims to be. God reveals Himself in His Holy Word- The Bible, and also through His Holy Spirit which indwells every believer. In John 14:26 Jesus specifically refers to who the Holy Spirit is: "But the Comforter, which is the Holy  Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you."
 If you want to know how to be saved please go to the page entitled:  'Gods Plan of Salvation' on my blog's main page to learn how to accept the free gift of salvation paid for by Jesus Christ the Son of God:

By now, some may think my story quite unbelievable; that’s okay, sometimes I can hardly believe it myself, and if I didn’t have the very vivid, life altering memory of it, I would dismiss it all as just a dream that has lasted over twenty years. The only unbelievable part is this: I still sometimes doubt. When I find myself doubting the existence of God, the reality of the power of the Son of God, and the mystery of the spiritual rhelm: it takes only a moment to remember what I have learned through my encounter with the LORD in order to quelch any doubts that have arisen in my mind.

By the way, Although I said that I was not saved when I repeated the sinners prayer that day, do understand that the seed had been very firmly planted in me on that day! I came to realize that once my heart knew the truth later on. For the word says:... So shall my word be that goes forth out of my mouth: it shall not return to me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. (Isaiah 55:11)

My prayer is for everyone to know that God is real and that Jesus loves them and died for them.

Jesus will return for His church someday, probably soon
(although nobody knows the exact time this will occur).

Will you be ready?